When I first talk to Life Coaching clients about core values they are usually in the dark as to what I am referring to.
Of course everybody knows what a value is, but because the term is somewhat subjective, it means different things to different people. Moreover, core values are not something that people pay attention to on a regular basis.
They are kind of just sat there under the surface dictating behavior and emotions usually without the individual having any idea as to how or why.
As a Life Coach if I don’t understand a clients core values, I have to confess to not really knowing them as a person, and that is not an ideal Life Coaching situation to be in.
That is why I always spend time explaining to clients what values (and their opposites - anti-values) are, and taking them through the process of uncovering their own.
Your core values are what drive you at every level and being out of alignment with them can be uncomfortable at best and completely debilitating at worst.
Let me expand on that so you can see what I mean.
Imagine that ‘freedom’ is a top value of yours, and to you freedom means having the money and time available to you that affords you the opportunity to travel and not be stuck in a 9 to 5 job.
Then imagine out of the blue you get offered a new job that pays a huge salary. However, the position requires you spend every day in the same office working insanely long hours and with little vacation time.
You may well take the job, because after all, that money may allow you to travel as you wish in years to come. However, mark my words, you are going to be very miserable whilst you stay there because you are stomping on one of your own core values.
You may well try and justify it all to yourself because of the money, but you will be fighting an uphill battle because being out of alignment with your values just feels flat out wrong at a very deep level.As well as values, we have as I mentioned above, anti-values. Anti-values are the things that we won’t to keep at arms length at all costs.
Common anti-values maybe words like stress, anger, fear, worry, hypocrisy and dishonesty and hate. If any of those words create a deeply negative visceral reaction within you, then there is a strong possibility they are an anti-value of yours.For example if stress is anathema to you, then as your Life Coach I wouldn’t really want you to apply for a job as an air traffic controller. it may tick some of the boxes for you, but it is also a very high pressure environment and is known for burnout and all the stress management techniques in the world won’t help.
If you don’t know what your own values are, you are really missing a huge opportunity. Knowing your values and then acting accordingly gives you a massive opportunity to forge a happier and more fulfilling life. So go learn your values!
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