Less from fear of being foolish than from fear of success we miss great windows of opportunities in our lives. Who hasn't forfeited precious opportunities for advancement or closing good deals simply because of unfounded insecurities?
The fact is that most of us tend to second-guess ourselves and in the process --by bringing about an irrational fear-- we sabotage ourselves.
The culprit, the unmistakable source, the cause of it all is called "the inferiority complex." What is bad for our lives is that instead of owning up to our failures and shortfalls we tend to pass the buck or blame someone else. If we fall short of getting that promotion we blame the competitor who got promoted. If we fail to close the sale, we blame the product, its high price, the lack of advertising, or even the client or customer.
Novelist H. P. Lovecraft said: "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear." And self-doubt is a form of fear that causes us to play the blame game
Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937) was an Austrian medical doctor, psychologist and a member of Freud's inner circle; being also the first major figure to break away from Freudian psychoanalysis. To describe human inner states Adler invented a new language: Napoleon complex, inferiority feelings, inferiority complex, compensation, overcompensation, and style of life.
Let's explore the 'inferiority complex' concept. Adler --as opposed to Sigmund Fred-- believed that striving for superiority is the most basic human drive (not sexuality). Everyone is always striving to be better than others. It is not that we are jealous of others, nor that we are envious or much less covetous—it is that we are wired to feel superior. This feeling of 'striving for perfection,' is what motivates humans to achieve their potential.
Yet, when we fall short in our efforts, we tend 'to compensate' that feeling of inadequacy with neurotic and often aberrant behavior. For many people those inabilities and inadequacies become threats to their mental well being, causing them to lie, belittle, demean, 'bad-mouth,' or even slander others. This then is a manifestation of an 'inferiority complex.'
To conquer the noxious feelings of inferiority three factors must be present in our minds. First, we must accept responsibility and not blame anyone for our shortfalls. Second, we must feel good about ourselves, and recognize the fact --often neglected in catalogs and lists in psychology textbooks-- that being ambitious is a virtue; that we are genetically engineered to aspire to a higher station in life. To say that money and wealth are evil and undesirable is to go against our inner nature. Third, we must have faith in our own skills and abilities and compete, for we cannot win anything if we don't complete; and the corollary to this point is that the more we train and prepare ourselves, the higher the probability that we will win.
American philosopher Emerson said, "They conquer who believe they can. Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain."
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