Having music during your wedding ceremony can bring life and meaning to the proceedings. Everyone has favorite songs that mean something to them, and having those songs performed by someone during the ceremony gives everyone a chance to contemplate the beginning of a new couple’s relationship, as well as look back on memories from their past, and their past with you.
However, the process for selecting songs isn’t as simple as many people believe. When it’s time to sit down with the singer, whether it’s someone you know or not, and pick out songs, you may find that it’s a harder process than you thought it was going to be. That or you end up picking songs that, if you’d thought about it longer, you wouldn’t have decided upon.
For instance, one of the biggest problems many couples have is selecting songs that are inappropriate to a wedding. The main two reasons for this are songs that are a bit more adult in nature than the couple wanted, especially because both older and younger people will be at the wedding, and picking songs that really aren’t love songs, but came across as such because the music seemed to indicate that was the type of song it was.
Many people sing along with song lyrics without really thinking all that much about the meaning of the words of the song. Weddings are supposed to be about love and couples, but some slow songs are about more serious issues, and some are about sex. When you’re selecting songs, you should pick double the number of songs you want performed, and then research the lyrics to verify that the lyrics are appropriate for the day.
If you’re looking for something special, maybe select a song that not many people know about, or something that people might not quite associate as a long song. Years ago, there was a couple who looked at the lyrics to Bob Dylan’s song “Forever Young” and decided it was the perfect song, one where they as a couple were accepting a special message for how to live their lives together, and it was the first song they had in their ceremony.
Next, you need to think about how many songs you want performed during your service. Remember that three songs will add at least 10 minutes to your ceremony, so if you’re looking to have a quickie ceremony you might want to only have one or two songs. If you’re having a long wedding, such as a Catholic wedding with a full mass, you might want to have more songs to break things up. However, you have to consider the types of songs you’re having performed even more if its part of a full religious ceremony, as some sects won’t allow secular (non-religious) music.
Finally, you have to think about how much you want to pay the singer. Most people think singers just show up and sing songs. However, singers, especially if they’re also playing an instrument during the ceremony, will practice at least a couple of hours to make sure they have songs down pat. Add to that the time they’re in your ceremony, and think about how they deserve to be paid. If a singer is performing at least 3 songs at your ceremony, and playing an instrument as well, the singer deserves to be paid at least $100. If it’s a friend, it might be negotiated as the wedding gift they’re giving you, but even as a friend, you should speak to that person as a professional. Remember, not everyone has the gift of a singing voice.
Music will enhance your wedding day, but making sure you take care of the essentials will alleviate any embarrassment later on.
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