For me it was a never ending cycle...crash diets bringing weight loss and improved self-confidence, then relaxing the strict rules I had placed on myself within the diet of the day, then horror as the weight creeped back on and I was unable to get back into the groove of the diet. With the weight gain came the disappointing looks from family and friends, and the feelings of utter despair and failure. After a few months or a year, I was heavier and more unhappy than ever.
Sound familiar? As I have reached middle age, I have discovered that my struggle to lose weight is nearly identical to many others. If I had only gone through the cycle one time, maybe twice, it wouldn't seem so hopeless. But like millions of others in the country, and across the globe, this cycle was repeated dozens of times, across the decades of my life.
In talking with hundreds of people about weight loss and morbid obesity, I realized we all feel the same bitter agony - the same "Why Me"? We all wonder why WE were cursed with a slow metabolism, or big bones; why WE can't eat whatever we want like our leaner family and friends. Frequently, I will admit that I have felt complete hatred and jealously of individuals who lose the weight and seem to keep it off indefinitely - and, I also have to admit, I hate myself more. "Why can't I do it?" I cried to myself. "If only, I could be different."
Morbid obesity is a growing concern worldwide. Research has proven that the cycle of yo-yo dieting, or crash dieting then weight gain, causes more health issues than just being heavy. Social scientists have speculated it is the ever-rising EMOTIONAL toll that is causing the worst problems, yet no one has discovered a solution that works for everyone. Not even surgery, which usually guarantees an initial, dramatic weight loss, is not showing long-term benefits for everyone, because a large percentage of patients don't make the necessary lifestyle changes to keep the weight off. Further compounding the search for "A" solution is that surgery will simply not be available to everyone.
However, lifestyle changes are yielding consistent results, if individuals are able to create small shifts over a long period of time, instead of trying to suddenly change an entire lifetime of behaviors. In trying to find a solution for myself, I realized that the cycle of crash dieting and regaining the weight wasn't working. Surgery wasn't an option for me for financial reasons, and I was MASSIVELY unhappy as I was. Finally, I realized that "why me" wasn't working for me either.
After years of living self-perpetuated lies - the slow metabolism, big-boned, I'm just a big girl kind of lies, I hit a personal bottom. I knew that there couldn't be any more "can't"s in my life...I had created a hell of my own making with "won't"s and "don't want to"s. As in, I won't change my eating, I don't want to take a walk, I won't look at my habits, I don't want to do anything to change my life. I suspect you know the feelings...I bet you have heard the same talk in your own head.
At some point, anyone who has successfully changed his or her life in a significant way has come to the same understanding. Weight loss, even for the morbidly obese, is no different. I MADE my problem. The one sliver of hope...if I made it, then I could change it.
First, I decided I "won't" be obese any more - and that I "don't want" to do this more than ONE LAST TIME in my life. It has never been important to me to be movie star thin...I just wanted to buy clothes off the rack in a normal store. Small, repeated lifestyle changes worked for me, as they have for MILLIONS of others, and I didn't have to pay an extra dime to learn them (you don't have to either).
Next, I went about studying what those men and women have done to lose massive amounts of weight, safely and permanently. If they could do it, I could do it. No one had the right to tell me otherwise.
Finally, I started, quietly, on my own, making one small change a day. Small changes like one less bite of food, or one flight of stairs at work...and in two weeks, I started to see the difference. I noticed how easy it was, and how "Why Me" wasn't playing in my head anymore.
If I can do this, if millions of others have done it before me, you can to. You don't have to wonder "why me" for another day of your life.
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