Requesting a separation is quite often the most traumatic thing any woman can do and how much worse if it is ending a long-term relationship.
The bravery and courage required to step out on your own is massive but you can do it, providing you begin setting your financial affairs in order up to a year before you actually have the conversation.
At the risk of sounding premeditated, before you make any dramatic announcements, you must have sorted out somewhere that you can go afterwards. Some partners will allow you some breathing space - perhaps in the hope that you will change your mind in the interim - but others will want you gone the moment you make the announcement.
So, on top of the emotional trauma of leaving what will have been your home for many years, you have to trawl around various property letting agencies and view future tenancy possibilities.
If you think that finding a suitable rental property has solved all your problems, you'd be very wrong.
You have to satisfy a totally impartial agency, who are completely separate from the letting agent, that you can pay the rent each month. You cannot rely on references extolling your good character or your pleasant personality, this service is not about approving you to ascertain that the property is safe in your hands.
The whole purpose of this investigation is, apparently, to protect the landlord from a tenant who cannot fulfil their rental commitment.
You will be asked to provide evidence that your monthly income will cover the rent. If this is not possible, then proof of alternative financing to cover the six months of the initial tenancy agreement will be required.
Being described as 'of independent means' equates to proving to this agency that you have had £15k in an account in your own name for a minimum of six months.
It doesn't matter if you're married to a millionaire and have secured a six figure settlement that very morning, if £15k of this cash has not been deposited in just your name for the previous six months, you will not be viewed as being 'of independent means' by any letting agency.
This means that, if you've been a housewife or worked part-time for decades and you don't earn enough to cover the rental on your new place, then you will be required to pay six months rent in advance.
In these credit crunch times, with stories of landlords going bust and tenants being given notice to vacate immediately, your six months up-front payment could be lost in an instant and there is no guarantee that you will be able to recover it.
The most irritating part of the whole thing is the fact that those people who can provide a pay slip to prove they have a job earning sufficient funds on the day before they sign the agreement, could lose that employment the following day with no redundancy package, but they are still considered a safer bet than a woman who has received her six figure divorce settlement that same day.
It is quite bizarre.
So, if you think that your marriage may not stand the test of time, you need to open an account of your own and start saving...
... NOW!
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