There is a way to simultaneously reduce resistance and increase your persuasiveness.
Different strokes for different folks, and that is the rule when it comes to how people respond to external control .
On the other side of the coin are individuals who are personally validated, who are more disconnected from external feedback. They know who they are and don't need anyone or anything to define them.
Its rare for anyone to be exceedingly personally or externally referenced. With the right handling, pressure, framing you can make them lean out into the world, regardless of how internally validated they are. Obviously the more externally validated they are, the more control you have of them.
You must position yourself in such a way that they covet your validation and control, they feel the burden to satisfy you. The more dependent they are the more control you can exercise!
Common examples could be expertise, rank, connections, money, access to a resource etc are just some ways you can suck them into that weaker role of influence.
You are not restricted to the above examples. Catch yourself in daily life, wanting external validation from total strangers who have none of these attributes. You can create control and even more control out just by putting yourself in a better position of control.
Work their internal realities.
Redefine anything they think, say or do as a manifestation of the identities you want them to assume. By altering the interpretation or meaning of external feedback, you are altering their personally generated subjective experiences.
Since an individual cannot see himself apart from what he sees externally from the world, people and external manifestations? Directing the feedback, directly impacts his self concepts and internal worlds.
The more personally validated he is the less he looks out to the external world to know who he is. Therefore these things work best on weaker willed, insecure individuals.
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