Fathers often get the short end of the stick in custody proceedings, whether it is because of discrimination on the judge’s part or a lack in knowledge of the decision process. Whatever the reasons, unfair decisions are passed down every day. There are some ways to increase or at least equalize your chances of being awarded custody of your children, though.
Get Involved
Become involved with your children’s lives if you are not already. If you truly want custody of your children, you might have to change the way you parent. Become involved with your child’s school and extracurricular activities, volunteer to take them to doctor’s appointments, and spend time with them. If you allow your ex-spouse to handle all of the details in your child’s life, the court will deem that you are not prepared to become primary caregiver or share the responsibilities equally.
Look at Your Personal Environment
One of the main causes for denial of custody is an unsuitable environment. This can mean anything from neglecting to clean your home to having a steady flow of short relationships. Be careful about who you expose your children to when it comes to not just dating, but to your friendships, as well. The judge will take into account whether you are actually spending time with your children when they are visiting you or if they have to entertain themselves while you have fun with buddies or a date.
Stay on Schedule
This cannot be stressed enough. Be on time for every single pick-up and drop-off. On top of causing your children worry and stress, being late creates conflict between parents and is a huge cause of irritation for judges. Make sure that you are on time or a few minutes early. This can have an enormous effect on custody decisions.
Keep Ex-Spouse Opinions to Yourself
Avoid putting down your ex-spouse in front of your children. It is upsetting to children because they love their other parent and courts see it as you trying to harm their relationship. Don’t fill your children in on adult issues that surround your divorce or the custody battle. All a child should know about fighting for custody is that both parents love them very much.
Take Your Children’s Feelings into Account
Your child will have the opportunity to declare who they would rather live with, whether it is in court, to an attorney, or to a court-appointed therapist. Think about where your child goes to school and attends activities. If living with you would force them to change school and leave friends and extracurricular groups behind, re-evaluate what you are doing. If your child vehemently does not want to live with you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. You should take their desires into account. Forcing him or her to live with you when they don’t want to will cause trauma as well as resentment.
If your ex-spouse truly should not have custody because of an unhealthy environment or endangerment, don’t be afraid to show proof. Avoid making things up about your ex-spouse, though. Lies will out themselves and guarantee that you do not receive custody. Be honest, calm, and civil in court, even if your ex-spouse attempts to provoke you. You can have an equal chance of getting custody of your children by showing the judge that you are equally as capable.
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