Online dating, once seen as something for the tragically lonely and desperate, is now a widely accepted means of meeting new people. Matchmaking sites catering to ever more specific niches continue to spring up.

Guys in particular have turned to internet dating because they feel burned by the bar and night club scene. They are intimidated by having to make the first move in a loud, smoky environment - and the fact that they are up against so much competition. It's hard plucking up the courage to start a conversation with a woman you've never met before, particularly if you've been snubbed several times already that night.

Dating sites certainly ease the pressure somewhat. It's much easier to test the waters online than offline. Still, actually getting to the point of meeting someone in the real world does take a while. The reason is that the same forces in play in the offline singles scene are still there on the dating sites.

Think about it: There are lots of women on those matchmaking sites. But there are always more men. And men are generally more likely to make the first move - it's just their nature.

So, any woman who has joined is usually inundated with approaches from men. She may find your e-mail interesting, but there are all those other ones she has received first, and is trying to get through. She's going to investigate each one she likes, time permitting. And she may not even get to yours.

So, how do you deal with this situation, or even turn it to your advantage?

Well, you just have to face reality. You're going to have to initiate contact with quite a few women before you even get to meet one in the flesh, let alone find the one that's right for you.

So, join a big, active and established online matchmaking site that has a lot of women in your area. That's crucial, since there's little point in getting in touch with women who live many miles away from you, or even in a different country! (Occasionally these long distance romances do blossom. But the odds are definitely against it.)

Don't join a matchmaking site that charges you every time you send an e-mail. Go for one that has a flat fee for a fixed period of time, and that allows you to send as many e-mails as possible. Before upgrading, spend time looking around and finding all those women who seem to be your type, live fairly close to you and are active on the site. (Most dating sites show when members last logged on. If they haven't been back for a couple of months, they're probably never going to come back.) Once you've accumulated quite a list, upgrade, then methodically send out e-mails to each of them in turn.

Remember that some of these women will respond. Some won't. Some will say thanks, but no thanks. Some will send an e-mail or two and then give up. You might chat online to a few of them, but that's as far as things go.

Out of the long list you started with you will actually meet some women, but only once or twice. Eventually, if you keep at it, you'll find a woman you like, and who likes you. And that will make all the effort worthwhile.

This “numbers game” approach may seem a little cynical to some. But it's far better than falling in love with just one woman's profile, and being devastated when she doesn't reply. As with so many other things in life, persistence pays off. Keep at it, don't give up. You'll eventually find what you're looking for.