When it comes to rituals and ceremonies, the Buddhists are strict conventionalist and their weddings are no exception. Buddhist matrimonial commence with the formality of asking the bride`s family for their consent by the groom`s family.
The auspicious day of the wedding is decided by the monk (Lama). A betrothal ritual follows this ceremony. During this ritual, the lama recites the prayers and then a concoction called the madyan is served to the guests, this is considered as a holy drink. All the rites and rituals of this auspicious day is carried on by the astrologer or the monk.
Pre-Wedding Rituals of Buddhists
Horoscope matching is the foremost and the most important ritual of the Buddhist wedding. It is one of the crucial steps which are practiced with dedication. After getting the horoscopes matched of the would-be bride and groom, the groom family in discussion with the lama decides an auspicious date for putting the proposal of the wedding. After this, the next ceremony performed is the Chessian Betrothal ceremony, where the maternal uncle of the bride is seated on a raised platform. The monk recites prayers and offers ‘madyan’ as a holy drink to everybody. It is followed by fixing of the wedding date in consultation with the astrologer.
The Day of the Wedding
In the morning of the wedding, the bride`s and the groom`s families arrive at the temple. The family of the groom brings many trays containing fruits, wine, traditional cake, tea, meat, and most importantly jewelry that the bride will be getting as dowry. It is necessary that these trays are six or nine in number. Seven or eight are not considered as lucky amongst the Buddhists. One of the trays must also contain a pair of candles, which are lit either by the bride and the groom or by their parents. This tradition varies according to different places and countries. Then, the families light up décor with candles, this symbolizes the unification of the two families.
After that, the bride and the groom and the assembly present on the occasion deliver a procession hymns from Vandana, Tisarana and Pancasila before a specially constructed shrine and the image of Lord Buddha. Then, a lot of candles and sticks are lit before the image of Lord Buddha and flowers are offered in a huge quantity. This is followed by the narration of the traditional undertakings as inscribed in Sigilovdda Sutta by the bride and the groom. As the ceremony progresses, a red paste is applied on the foreheads of the bride and the groom. During this ritual, the groom says the following words:
"Towards my wife, I undertake to love and respect her, be kind and considerate, be faithful, delegate domestic management, present gifts to please her."
The bride says in response…
"Towards my husband, I undertake to perform my household duties efficiently, be hospitable to my in-laws and friends of my husband, be faithful, protect and invest our earnings, discharge my responsibilities lovingly and fastidiously."
Post Wedding Rituals of the Buddhists
With the recital of Mangal Sutta and Jayamangala Gatha as a blessing for the newlyweds, the wedding ceremony comes to an end. Buddhist marriage is a simple affair and does not include any complex ritual. A typical Buddhist wedding is divided into two parts, one is Buddhist component and the other is non-Buddhist component. While the Buddhist component includes offering prayers along with gifts to the monks and Buddha image, the non-Buddhist constituent engulfs customary practices followed by the family of the couple.
The ritual of red paste is similar to what is done at Hindu weddings. The bride is marked with the butt of a candle keeping in with the tradition of not touching women. In recent time, Buddhist weddings have cut down on the difficult ceremonies involved. Now, even monks also have a greater role as compared to previous times when they were not allowed.
The amalgamation of modernity and scientific knowledge have undoubtedly cast their influence on Buddhist matrimonial as well. Initially monks were not allowed to attend the weddings, as they had to be present during the funeral rites. But now, the role of the monks in weddings has become quite prominent. Just like all other religions, Buddhist weddings are also customary ceremonies and are an crucial part of the Buddhist culture.
