It's over. Thousands of ecstatic college seniors and proud parents attended the ceremony called graduation over the past few months.
The next step may be just as exciting as the graduate steps into the adult world of work, and family and financial independence. However, according to Peter Vogt of MonsterTRAK, almost half of this year's college graduates surveyed said that they planned to move back home after receiving their diplomas. Even more discouraging, 42% of 2006 graduates surveyed indicated that they continued living at home after a couple of years.
The contributing factors for this are understandable, given the current rocky economy with high fuel prices, expensive rent and soaring food and utility costs. Additionally, the usual graduate leaves the university with not only a diploma, but also $20,000 of college debt and an average of $5,000 credit card bills. Many graduates have little option but to move home to save money on rent, food and utilities while paying back debt and trying to save for an apartment.
There are potential downsides of this for everyone, not least of which is that the adult child, when expected to behave like a minor, finds the comforts of home way too enjoyable to leave . And why not, when bills are paid, laundry service is provided and food is prepared? This unrealistic living arrangement may easily stifle motivation, resulting in an extended childhood experience that has no endpoint. In blended families, there may be more than one such graduate, further cramping family living space and finances.
How can parents make this experience productive for the adult child and time-limited for the parents who hope to see their adult child move ahead into mature, independent living?
Following are some suggestions for boomerang graduates and their parents, to help them in spelling out expectations and developing a plan for the graduate to move smoothly into independent adult living.
1. Look at the move back as temporary and talk in an upbeat manner about when to move out. Focus on a realistic date and discuss strategies for bringing this about, including employment possibilities, roommate search and budgeting.
2.Insist on rent with a clear explanation of amount, when payment is due and late charges if there is habitual tardiness. Your graduate in essence becomes your tenant with a rental contract, and even though this may sound harsh, it is an effective budgeting learning experience for living independently away from home. When paying rent is not an option because the graduate is paying off debt or saving for his own place, request to look at the pay-back plans and savings account to ensure that this is really occuring. Spending over-much because Mom and Dad are taking care of the bills is not an option when living at home after graduation.
3. Negotiate a realistic contribution towards food and utilities in order that the graduate has a real view of his own financial footprint. This will be an valuable experience when the graduate is on his own attempting to balance income and expenses. If money is short, come to terms on a chore list to make up the shortfall.
4. Set up house rules since this is your home, and not their college dorm. Rules should be carefully respected with real consequences so that each person understands that co-existing is synonymous with compromise. Rules may concern such issues as loud music, curfews, friends hanging out, emptying the refrigerator, borrowing the car and replacing fuel, indulging in alcohol, smoking and drug use, and contributing to work around the house.
Most college graduates are eager to experience independent living; they would rather not be living at home after graduation. However, when it's inevitable due to financial and job issues, try to make it a positive learning experience for the emerging young adult and time-limited for the hopefully soon-to-be empty-nester parents.
