Savour your victories, no matter how small. Reward yourself for acting positively, for overcoming temptations to wallow in self pity or anger, or to give into blame fixing or self justification. Remove any remaining “hooks” from your mouth so you’re not held back by the circumstances that put them there. Keep moving forward.
Rewards can be as simple as smiling at yourself in the mirror, or sharing your plans with your loved ones and reporting your triumphs. Emotional support is important, but be sure the support you seek is positive — you risk losing it if your loved ones feel you’re using them to justify your self pity or bitterness. Give them — and you! — reasons to feel good about the progress you’re making.
Step 5 — Find positive, worthwhile mentors and role models
Victims — even survivors — need people in a position of strength to help them recover. You can rarely do it on your own. This shouldn’t embarrass you or make you feel inadequate. This is an aspect of life where you simply lack the necessary knowledge, perspective and skills — for now.
If you started a new job in a completely new field next week, would you expect to know everything you needed to know about it? Of course not. Would you feel inadequate if your new boss assigned an experienced supervisor to teach you the ropes? Of course not.
This is no different.
Just make sure that you choose mentors and role models who know what they’re doing. People who KNOW the right things to do and the right reasons for doing them. And remember… actions reveal what words conceal. Focus on what people DO, not just on what they SAY.
Steps to recovery
Okay… it’s time to stop treading water — surviving — and start swimming for dry land. Solid ground, too. Be wary of foaming white or green water — they’re a sign of rips and undertow that will drag you back out to deep water while pulling you under. And beware of the deceptively normal-looking surface of quicksand, into which you can sink without a trace.
These boobytraps are the fanatical anti-”MLM” groups that pose as places of comfort and help, but which really just entice you into a lethal cycle of misery and hate, no matter how honourable their intentions may be. Remember… the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Instead, head for the lights and the solid ground on which they shine. Avoid the rocks of contention and anger. They’ll tear you apart. Seek safety and shelter in a safe harbour.
Step 6 — Catch the Vision… Create your Recovery Plan
Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of trying to do this on your own. There’s an old saying in bookmaking circles that applies here… “you can never back a winner when you’re down.” There are times and situations where you can’t help yourself up — you need someone on higher ground to reach down and pull you up. For more insight into this vital aspect of Fourth Generation Thinking, click here. (Pay particular attention to the ‘pit’ diagram and explanation in Stage Four – How we become free — especially the 4-step transition from dependence to independence.)
Can you imagine how vastly different your experience might have been if you’d had a mentor who understood and lived these principles?
So sit down with your mentor and create a simple plan for recovery — one that will get you from where you are, treading water, staying afloat as a mere survivor, to spending that energy more productively on activities that will move you toward your goal — the safety and security of solid ground. The right mentor is the lifeguard who tossed you the lifebuoy, and it’s your mentor who knows the way back to land, and who’ll be there beside you at every stroke. They can’t and won’t do it for you — you need to swim to shore by your own efforts — but they’ll help stop you from sinking, or giving up.
Step 7 — With the help of your mentor, put your recovery plan into action
Start swimming! Keep those lights onshore fixed in your view. Report your progress and any challenges you encounter to your mentor. Discuss and evaluate them. Celebrate your victories and analyse your setbacks. Don’t be angry with yourself… it’s totally unproductive and bad for your emotional well-being. There are enough people out there trying to drag you down without YOU joining them.
Step 8 — Record your progress… keep a journal
A journal is like a ship’s log. Any journey needs three things at the planning stage, and a fourth to ensure the connections:
First, a starting point. You need to know where you started from.
Second, a destination. If you aim at nowhere in particular, guess where you’ll end up? Spell it out. How will you know when you reach it? What will your life be like? What will have changed for the better?
Third, a route to get from your starting point to your destination. It may not be the actual route you eventually follow — detours and obstacles are hard to foresee — but it will help you make it in the shortest possible time. Remember, too, that sometimes the quickest way home is the longest way round! And don’t go exploring all those side roads — the way to success is a straight road with very few travellers; all the rest are lost down side roads that are all dead ends.
Finally, you need a way to measure your progress, to check your path and bearings, so that you don’t stray off course and, if you do, you can correct it promptly. This is your log… your personal journal. Record your successes and failures, your detours and delays. Explain them. it will become more and more valuable to you as you progress. And it will do wonders for your self esteem.
Apart from anything else, it will have real value for others in the future… your children and their children. Even those you eventually mentor yourself, once you’ve established yourself successfully on dry, solid ground.
Step 9 — Review your progress regularly
Talk with your mentor regularly and review your progress. They occupy higher ground than you do, and they can see where you are in relation to your destination and starting point. Make any required changes promptly so you don’t waste time and effort. Don’t fight those changes. Emotional ruts can sink you faster than you could believe. We call them habits, comfort zones, etc, but their really just ruts worn into our lives because we see them as safe and non-threatening. But never forget the true perspective here… the only difference between a rut and a grave is the length!
Step 10 – Share the Vision
Once you’ve established yourself and have consolidated your success, it’s time to repay the help you received from your mentor. But, like any true Fourth Generation™ person, they neither expect no want anything from you but your own success. You repay them by helping others in need. Become a mentor – once you’re in a genuine position of strength. Share your own story with others, and work with them for their success.
Article Directory : http://www.articlecube.com
Mike Sherratt is a professional internet marketing mentor if you have been struggling in building a business from home and you would like a free coach to help you build your business then check out this free e book, Get free instant access :http://freeleads.bigmlmlies.com/
